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7 Things to Do in the Event of a Zombie Apocalypse

 

[Zombie Apocalypse] With the recent portrayals of zombie outbreaks in The Walking Dead, World War Z, and Zombie land, it’s useful to consider what one would do in the real life event of a zombie apocalypse. Zombies may only be a work of fiction now, but the idea of a widespread, voraciously contagious epidemic is not too difficult to imagine in the midst of the recent Swine Flu and Bird Flu viruses. While both winded up being a major threat mostly only to small children and older adults with poor immune systems, it is easy to see how something contagious could spread very quickly and create mass hysteria. Like any emergency, a little preparation goes a long way on the road to survival.

 

Having an understanding of how zombies work is crucial. There is no cure for the zombie virus, nor is there any kind of vaccine that can prevent the spread. Thus, when infection strikes, the only way to stop zombies from infiltrating the entire planet is to kill them. Shooting a zombie in the heart will not do. Just as zombies crave brains, their own brains should be the target of your destruction and the only way to truly kill a zombie. With that knowledge aside, there are several steps one must take to long-term survival in a zombie apocalypse.

 

1. Prepare for the Worst

Every household should already have a kit set aside for the potential zombie takeover. This should include emergency items such as prescription drugs that will last you up to a year or more. It would also be wise to include first aid materials, a copy of your passport or social security card, batteries, and a radio. A large sheet of tarp is good for water collection. Some of these items you may be able to find with ease, but it depends on whether you are able to make it to a good shelter or whether things turn for the worst so rapidly that you don’t have time to flee. Your emergency zombie attack kit should closely resemble the rations you have set aside for any other major disaster, such as Y2K. Hopefully, you’ll never have to use it, but you’ll be thankful for it in retrospect if it does indeed happen.

2. Know the Signs

If the media is struggling to cover up a rapidly spreading virus, it could be some spin-off of the swine flu, but it could also very well be the zombie virus. Zombies are typically born from some exotic strain of something fed to a monkey in a lab. That monkey then infects the scientist responsible, who passes it on to his colleagues, etc. But there should be at least a few days in that span of time that news reports, social media, and local gossip bubble up about the “weird disease going around.” Trust your instincts if you sense that an epidemic is taking over and begin your exit strategy. Preparedness can mark the difference between escaping the line of fire just in time and having to stick out the battle because the state lines are being patrolled by government officials. Always have a Plan B, as not everything works in one’s favor all the time.

3. Arm Yourself

As soon as you know that you’re in the midst of a major zombie problem, find a weapon that you can most effectively wield and attack any zombie in your general vicinity that presents a threat to you. With the knowledge that zombies can only be killed by destroying their brains, a gun is best for shooting zombies in the head. But you may also choose to decapitate them, so long as you sever the flesh-lusting brain from its core. Tools such as garden shears or a sword force you to get quite a bit closer to the zombie and can be difficult to handle without a certain amount of physical strength, so you may want to invest in something quiet and powerful that can be launched from a distance.

4. Dress for Protection

Suit up in attire that can best help defend you from zombie bites. A helmet is good for protecting your coveted brain, but may also compromise your peripheral vision and somewhat dull your hearing when you need your senses to be as keen as possible. Have little to no skin exposed, as any zombie blood splattering on you has the potential to infect you. You want clothing that won’t weigh you down too much or hinder your ability to run, while simultaneously wearing clothing thick or impenetrable enough that the gnawing or scratching of zombies won’t penetrate it. This can be a tricky balance to find.

5. Choose Friends Wisely

You need to decide whether you want to take a loner approach or make alliances and team up with people. Should you construct a group, it’s important to note people’s strengths and weaknesses and solidify a leader. You will not want to have weak people on your team, such as small children or the elderly, if you can avoid it. They will only slow you down. The best people are fast, resourceful, and can attack without mercy. Someone with experience hunting would be good for protecting the group. Someone else who knows how composting works or which plants in nature are edible could be useful, too. It’s important that the team not be so large that you eat through your rations too quickly, and that you all agree that the minute someone becomes infected, they will be killed without a second thought.

6. Run and Hide

If the potential exists to drive to a neighboring city or state that hasn’t been infested, obviously it’s best to go there and prepare for battle. However, if you’ve been quarantined or the zombie attacks have infiltrated the entire country, pick a place to hide that has the availability of nonperishable foods. Costco would be a great choice, since it only has one publically accessible entrance that can be barricaded and it essentially has everything you’d need to survive for at least a couple months. Other superstores, such as Sam’s Club or Wal-Mart, are also good places to build your fortress. Avoid any structure with a lot of windows or entrances. Shopping malls are probably the worst places you can hide, as they have so many access points and windows that zombies can break through.

7.  Stay Calm

One of the worst things you can do in this situation is to surrender to panic. When panicking, people often do not think clearly and make poor decisions, which can cost you your life in the event of a zombie attack. Your fear is also contagious and could spread to others in the group, weakening the team considerably. Avoid screaming phrases such as “We’re all gonna die!” that can cause hysteria and pants-wetting. In fact, avoiding screaming altogether, as zombies tend to have rather acute hearing and will be attracted to your idiotic outbursts. If you know that listening to the radio for updates on the apocalypse only incites a sense of terror in you, have someone more even-keeled assume that responsibility.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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